Breaking up with old T-shirts

The last 3 years I worship anything I bring back from NY:clothes, mugs, posters..even the previous laptop which crashed twice before I replace it and for those who know me I used to be the 5 laptop within 2 months girl!

This afternoon while packing for my vacation I decided to leave back some t-shirts I bought the last day before I move from NYC..I never thought I could have the strength to break up with them, but I felt suddenly that it's time to move on. Stop mystifying my past or my future and focus on my present.

I folded the t-shirts, put them back in the drawer and smiled.

It's a matter of time to move on...like everything else in life!

I'll take the rain.....cause the colors of the rainbow are breathtaking....

The last week rains all the time...

A friend who knows me very well, sent me this song of REM:

"I'll Take The Rain"

The rain came down
The rain came down
The rain came down on me.

The wind blew strong
The summer song
Fades to memory

I knew you when
I loved you then
The summer's young and helpless.

You laid me bare
You marked me there
The promises we made.

I used to think
As birds take wing
They sing through life so why can't we?
You cling to this
You claim the best
If this is what you're offering
I'll take the rain
I'll take the rain
I'll take the rain.

The nighttime creases
Summer schemes
And stretches out to stay.
The sun shines down
You came around
You love easy days.

But now the sun,
The winter's come.
I wanted just to say
That if I hold
I'd hope you'd fold Open up inside, inside of me.

I used to think
As birds take wing
They sing through life so why can't we?
You cling to this
You claim the best
If this is what you're offering
I'll take the rain
I'll take the rain
I'll take the rain.

This winter song
I'll sing along
I've searched its still refrain
I'll walk alone
I've given this, take wing
Celebrate the rain.

I used to think
As birds take wing
They sing through life so why can't we?
You cling to this
You claim the best
If this is what you're offering
I'll take the rain
I'll take the rain
I'll take the rain.

and I sing I'll take the rain watching the most beautiful rainbow ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!simple...

Sorrows of the Elderly

The old are kind.

The young are hot.

Love may be blind.

Desire is not.

Leonard Cohen, Book of Longing

Turkish coffee in an NY mug

This afternoon I made a cup of Turkish coffee after long time.

I felt sodade for the summer afternoon in Greece...I pictured my grandmum boiling her coffee and then sitting in the veranda, complaining about the heat...and I smiled, felt suddenly warm despite the nasty Irish weather.

The sight of a special mag I bought in NY and always carry the last years, brought another flow of memories...

NYC with Fatos and Angela strolling around, being introduced by the two ladies to the tea culture...I felt even warmer...Yesterday I didn't know how to gather the broken pieces...today the aroma of the coffee, the thought of family and friends, made me realize that it's the small things that bring us balance, the secret is to boil the aromatic coffee and use the right mug...

Fragile as a Murano glass

The last 5 days I was in Venice for work. I always buy a Murano piece when I'm there..this time I bought a pair of earrings to replace the ones I lost in Poland...

beautiful sparkling earrings.

lately I feel as fragile as a Murano glass, supersensitive, incapable of taking any decision, doubtful of my ability to judge people and situations..

I'm staring at the Murano earrings and wonder how I will stop falling into many broken pieces but I have no answer...

weather compromise and not ONLY?????

This morning the taxi driver asked me; nice morning eh? dry...and I replied yes nice morning...
If I were anywhere else I would say, are you kidding me?this morning is miserable! grey moody...there is no sun....but instead I agreed with him...maybe cause I wanted to be polite or not in the mood for talking before coffee....
after having slightly woken up at the office with the smell of the first coffee, I realized that I have compromised with lower standards of weather's acceptance...but what if it's not the only compromise I have made in my life?
How scary is at the end to compromise especially when your illusions are fragile like mine as someone told me yesterday, scolding me that the fresh ocean air should strengthen them and not dissolve them.....
I think I need a second coffee..

Evening and after many coffees and a glass of Irish whisky, compromises seem to fly away by the ocean wind...like my mind cleared up in a magic way.....

Sunday mornings with coffee, newspapers and music...

the more I grow up, the more I realize how much I love Sunday mornings...there is a mystification I  cannot explain...

as a student I hated Sundays, especially afternoons when I had to study for next morning school...later in the university, in Thessaloniki Sunday morning meant lots of sleep, a Turkish coffee with cigarettes and newspapers in an old cafe in front of the sea while older people played backgammon ....Sunday mornings were also special in New Orleans, listening to jazz in the sunny living room with big open windows of the white colonial house or in New York, getting ready for real brunch and a gallery visit, after the first coffee and the New York Times reading.....Sunday mornings  at home where dad makes coffee and brings three/four newspapers and each of us gets isolated in his own world but at the same time connected with each other in a smiling way..or at my place in Ireland, where I make my coffee, read my newspapers, make a second coffee, listen to music and dream a Sunday smile...prolonging for ever this magic....trying to find the way of  keeping that feeling alive the rest  of the week...

of books and other mysteries...

Last week I lost a book together with a pair of earings and a caricature.....

the second book I had bought, survived ...this morning drinking my first coffee I opened the second book but I couldn't read even the first page cause I got suddenly so sad....

I realized that it's not the lost book itself I mourned but its link to the place I bought it and the people I bought it with...books have their own stories, it's not only their content, their smell, the pleasure of touching the pages.... the mystery of books is about our stories, our moments in time..... I will always mourn that book.....

Right to disappear

First time I realized the refreshment of this right when I lived in NYC..... so liberating to stroll around Manhattan and feel that no one knows me...

I thought I exercised the same right the last 10 days...with people I met for first time and shared thoughts and feelings and tears and laughing...

I became 31 only, custo Maria law and other legal rules, little girl, felt the heaven and hell, thought I was alive again....

now back in reality I can see the thin line between this right and the choice of running away....it looks like the last 10 days I run away....